Cohabitation Nation: Gender, Class, and the Remaking of Relationships by Ms. Sassler Sharon & Amanda Miller

Author:Ms. Sassler, Sharon & Amanda Miller [Ms. Sassler, Sharon & Miller, Amanda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0520286979
Amazon: B072N6MSJ7
Publisher: University of California Press
Published: 2017-07-18T00:00:00+00:00

I feel like with marriage it’s like a ball and chain, now that I think about it. It’s like you have to answer to this person and you got to tell this person where you’re going, what you’re doing. I guess the views of marriage, the way we were raised, it’s like if you are married, you’ve got to do it. Women have to do it. They don’t want to cook? They’ve got to do it. Men sit around and do nothing all day. I just figure with the way I want to do things, I don’t like the idea of marriage. I’m more comfortable with living together.

Sheryl mentioned both men’s and women’s roles in her ideas of marriage, though it is noteworthy that “male jobs” are much less routine and time-intensive than the “female jobs.” The 29-year-old waitress explained that in marriage, “Women are doing the cooking, the cleaning, and all this.” Asked what men are doing, she said, “Fixing the car, taking the car in. What do guys do? (laughs) I don’t know. Putting up the storm windows. Mowing the grass. I don’t think that those roles are placed as intensely when you’re cohabiting.” Terrell was the lone service-class man to mention that should he and Aliyah marry, she would expect him to do more “manly” jobs. Asked what Aliyah would expect him to do if they were married, he said, “I guess fix up stuff more. I don’t fix nothing. I’m not a handyman. I don’t like to get dirty (laughs).”

Many service-class individuals mentioned fears that marriage meant that they were trapped. Such feelings could lead, in their opinion, to arguments (or additional arguments) with their partners. Nearly half (n = 28) of our service-class respondents mentioned that marriage was confining. Explaining how cohabitation was preferable to marriage, Stephanie stated:

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